Twas the Night before Christmas Vacation

An HR Xmas Tale

‘Twas the night before my Christmas vacation, when all through the office

every employee was stirring, especially the bosses.

The performance review deadlines were posted with care,

in hopes that the Managers would finish them and be fair.

 

The employees were focused on getting home early,

while visions of bonuses were making them squirrelly.

My staff and I tried to deal with the questions,

but we just couldn’t handle it, like a bad kind of infection.

 

When outside of my office, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my desk chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the hallway I flew like a flash,

tore open my office door and jumped out with a dash.

 

The fluorescent lights on the freshly cleaned walls,

gave the impression there was order out in the halls.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but a stressed out FedEx man whose eyes were wide with fear.

 

The delivery driver who is normally lively and quick,

looked tired and haggered and I felt bad for Nick (his name).

Usually more rapid than eagles bringing his parcels to us,

but today he looked tired, like he got hit by a bus.

 

“It’s crazy and insane out there don’t you know!

Drivers are stupid and don’t care where you need to go.

Running red lights and stop signs,

not bothering to check,

they have all lost their minds

and truly don’t give a heck!

I need to get away, get away, get away now,

before I have a complete and total breakdown!”

 

I felt bad for FedEx delivery guy Nick,

but I had to ask the question, even if it made him sick

I braced myself for his answer at best,

because if it was “no,” I would need a bullet proof vest!

 

“Nick my good man, I know it’s a jungle,

but when it comes to our parcels, I hope nothing was bungled!”

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

I saw, down the hallway, the employees were coming with a bound.

 

The staff saw that Nick was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

and his uniform was tarnished with road salt and soot.

A bundle of packages he had flung on his back,

he was petrified with fear, as he began opening his pack.

 

Then, his eyes–how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

I said, “Nick, please tell me, this is all a bit scary!”

He curled up his mouth and let out a tiny breath,

“Scott my friend, there may still be good news yet!”

He reached into his pack and pulled out some letters,

“I think what’s in here might make you all feel better(s)”

Nick thought he was funny with the things that he said,

But if he was wrong, well, I might as well be dead.

 

Nick was chubby and plump, a right jolly old driver,

But when I saw what he had in his hand, I knew I would survive(er).

He gave me a wink of his eye and a twist of his head

And showed me the bonus cheques and I knew I had nothing to dread.

 

I spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

Handing out bonus cheques so no one would call me a jerk

It was a fortunate thing; the bonuses came in on time,

But then all semblance of working stopped on a dime.

 

Nick sprang to his tablet, to get me to sign,

“Scott, I have to get moving, I am running behind!”

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

 

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

 

Image courtesy of digitalart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net